Episode 33: Irwin Hau – The Clarity Coach

Episode Description: In this episode, we get to know Irwin Hau of Chromatix and get a walkthrough on the book he’s writing. He shares his knowledge on clarity, models, and having a fantastic 4 that helps your personal journey.



Chromatix – https://www.chromatix.com.au/  

LinkedIn – https://au.linkedin.com/in/irwinhau  

Streetlights App – https://www.streetlightsbible.com/downloadslapp/

Posh Incredible Transformations – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/posh-incredible-transformations/id1377517663?mt=2

Youtube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyrz1fZpMDHSfGm7t29ieOA/featured

Website – Poshinc.com

Email – tifany@poshinc.com


Episode Notes:

  • Intro – 0:00
  • Bose Noise Canceling Headphones – 0:48
  • Melbourne Is a Quiet City – 2:10
  • Digging Into Irwin’s Brain and Feelings – 2:32
  • The 5 Areas of Irwin – 3:35
  • Clarity Has Been a Big Part of My Journey – 7:27
  • Realizing When and Giving a Tip – 8:08
  • 5 Words for My 5-Year-Old – 11:19
  • Chapter 1 of My Book – 13:04
  • Having a Fantastic 4 – 14:00
  • Cross-Pollinating Hobbies, Interests and Business Together – 18:00
  • Finding Myself in My Early 30s – 20:28
  • 100s of Notebooks I Don’t Look At – 23:05
  • Has Writing Everything Down Given You Clarity? – 24:10
  • The Power of the Right Question – 24:48
  • What’s Your Unfair Advantage? – 26:31
  • Finding Your Passion – 28:38
  • Seeing How Unlike Things Connect – 30:24
  • Knowing How to Read People In Magic and In Business – 33:42
  • Being Into Transferable Skills – 35:10
  • Being An Emotional Person With Mental Models – 36:28
  • Legacy Book, Not Changing the Past, and Helping Others – 37:52
  • What’s My Purpose? – 40:32
  • Knowledge and God – 41:30
  • Asking 5 Things You’ve Learned in Life – 42:26
  • The View of What My Parents Have Given Me – 43:30
  • The Tangible and The Intangible – 45:36
  • What’s the Definition of Success In Writing? – 46:40
  • How Do You Ask Better Questions? – 47:48
  • The Idea of Success, Growth, and Content – 48:54
  • Getting to a Place of Contentment – 54:00
  • Finding About My Faith and What I Was Made For – 54:38
  • Modeling Off Jesus and the 4 Key Areas – 57:25
  • Streetlights – 58:30
  • Working On Physical – 59:00
  • Helping Others and Give Them Mental Models – 59:42
  • A Lot of Great Advice On How to Live – 1:00:30
  • Asking the Right Question – 1:01:55
  • Wrap Up – 1:03:24
  • Last Thoughts/Suggestions – 1:04:15
  • Closing – 1:06:37

Tiffany: I’m Tiffany Lopez, and you’re listening to “Posh Incredible Podcast” where I interview ordinary people who are making extraordinary transformations in their lives and for others. I believe we’re all here to transcend and assist the ones around us to grow into the people they were born to be. The pathway of awakening is a noble life pursue, and it starts now. It doesn’t feel like I’m real when I’m using those. Like here.


Irwin: Yeah, you kind of hear yourself. So I think they’re fantastic if you’re kind of just reflecting, and thinking about yourself and what’s going on in life, but yeah.


Tiffany: Listening to music.


Irwin: Yeah.


Tiffany: We’re talking about the Bose noise-canceling headphones, by the way. We’re just testing this sound and I did press record, so now we’re rolling.


Irwin: Okay, and for the record, they are fantastic.


Tiffany: Amazing.


Irwin: I have a pair of this other one. Got a limited edition for my sister. Cannot deny it is the best thing, especially if you’re traveling.


Tiffany: Changed my travel life.


Irwin: Amazing.


Tiffany: They changed my travel life.


Irwin: It was that good. I was actually…I was on the plane, I put them on, and I didn’t know I had even taken off. That’s how good…like not headphones taken off, but the plane had already left the ground. I was on this kind of…I was on it until I got that weird kind of whoa, whoa, you know, that kind of feeling. And I was like, “Wow, these are amazing.”


Tiffany: Yeah, I actually…I live in New York and I just started wearing them walking around the city. I am so sensitive to noise. I don’t know why it took me so long to just put them on. New York is very loud.


Irwin: Don’t you want to take in the sights and sounds? I guess you’re part of it [inaudible 00:01:56]


Tiffany: No. I don’t want to take in the sounds.


Irwin: Too many sounds.


Tiffany: I’m all right taking in the sights, but the sounds are just too much sometimes. The first thing I noticed about Melbourne is how quiet the city is.


Irwin: Yes.


Tiffany: It’s so quiet. It’s super peaceful. And that was one of the first things I noticed when I got here.


Irwin: If you think it’s quiet here, you should go to Perth or somewhere like that. It is just dead quiet there. It’s kind of cool, but [inaudible 00:02:30].


Tiffany: All right, so…


Irwin: Talk to me.


Tiffany: I’m just super excited about this podcast. I think we have a lot of similarities and I’m really interested in digging a little bit deeper into you and how your brain works. And I guess not really your brain but how your own emotions work. I feel like…so Avrar [SP] is a person that I met and we became insta-friends. You know, when you just meet somebody you automatically like just get into like a groove within the conversation. You don’t really even need to know their background or anything, all of a sudden, you’re talking to them like you’ve known them for 20 years. I also felt the same way when I met you. And so I’m always really curious about people like that because, I don’t know, I guess we all find ourselves very interesting people, I don’t know, I guess.


Irwin: Pretty cool.


Tiffany: But anyways, why don’t you introduce yourself briefly, and then tell us what you do and what you’re about and then we can go get into it from there.


Irwin: Yeah. Well, thanks for having me. There’s actually five areas to me. So firstly, just to start, my name’s Irwin. Irwin as in Steve Irwin. So for those who know of the Crocodile Hunter, he used to be around, that’s how I use a memory hook. The five areas of me so I will usually talk about my family, my business, my book, which I’ve talked to you about before, magic tricks, I love magic tricks, and the last part is actually mentoring. I love helping people. I call myself a clarity coach. I don’t know if I can trademark that. I think I should. A bit of a clarity coach to some people, virtual business mentor, or virtual business partner, actually. That’s another way of saying it. But let’s start from…So my name is Irwin. I turned 38 this year, in 2 years I’m 40.


Tiffany: When’s your birthday?


Irwin: 15th of April.


Tiffany: Okay.


Irwin: I think I’ve said too much now because you can kind of reverse engineer all that then get into my security. I’m kidding. It’s all good. But birthday’s in April. All the big dates in my life happen in April. My birthday is in April, my wedding anniversary is in April. This business started and was conceived in April. So April is the best month, I say. So yeah, so 38 this year. I now run this web design and innovation agency. It is a real passion of mine and reason why, it’s kind of like my third kid, or first kid actually of my three, because I get to do what I love every day with the people that I love.


And I think it’s really rare to find someone who gets to do that. If you say, “Hey, are you living your purpose? Do you love what you do? Are you doing it with the people you love, you know? And the truth is, I see more of these guys here that I see my own family, that I see my own wife, you know, something. So you better love what you do. So I’m an agency owner, I love magic tricks. Like I mentioned before, I’ve been doing that, oh, 19, 20 years.


Tiffany: Wow.


Irwin: And I’ve been able to merge the two together, which is fantastic. So we’ll talk about that later maybe. I think life is not just about self but is about giving back to others. And so as part of my legacy piece for my children, who are seven and five, but to just anyone and everyone else, I’m writing a book as well. So the book is called “I Wish You Told Me Earlier,” which is, I guess something I like, if I were to go back 20 years and say, “Hey, 18-year-old Irwin, what would you tell me, what would you teach me?” sort of thing, this is what the book contains.


And so I’ve worked out some mental models that I live by. And I guess what makes this book different is the mental models, there are nine steps for a better word, each one builds on the last. It’s not one of those general self-help books where you can just go in, there’s a nugget there, grab, great, I’ll take that. But it’s actually a process, there’s a step-by-step way of doing things.


I know I’m jumping around a bit so I do apologize. Yeah, and the last was actually just mentoring helping people. I think that’s just in general. Yeah, we all need clarity in life and stuff hits the fan, you don’t know what to do and stuff, just having someone that you know you can run to, have a chat, you know, about stuff. It could be personal stuff, it could be business stuff, spiritual stuff. Could be your love life, could be about, you know, what you had for breakfast, I don’t know, whatever it is. Yeah, just being there for others I think is really what it’s all about.


Tiffany: I have so many questions already. My mistake last time was not writing them down and then I got to like another thing and it’s like, “Oh, but there was such a great question there.” So one thing is clarity, and clarity has been a huge part of my journey. I feel like over the past probably two…no, probably started before that. Maybe since I was 26 because…So I’m really interested that you said you’re a clarity coach, which is like, I’ve never heard it before. So I think you can coin the term…


Irwin: I’ve coined it now. [inaudible 00:07:58]


Tiffany: …clarity coach. But how did you start…how did you know that you were good at that? And how do you…like if you were to maybe give the audience one tip on achieving clarity, if you could give a tip, that would be super helpful also.


Irwin: Yeah, I think I didn’t realize it because number one, I’m actually a really simple guy. I think that’s how it all started. Because how my mind works is it took a big concepts and crazy details and complex XYZ, it’s too much for me, I have to simplify it. And it’s not even for the person, it’s actually just for me, I’m like, “So what’s the point of all that?” Like, why are we, you know…and so you could be sitting in a lecture going, yeah, yeah, yeah. One hour later, I just go, “What was the point of that?” I could be listening to a sermon, I go, “What’s the point of that?” I could be reading this book I go, “What’s the point of that?” We could be having these conversations, I say, “What’s the point of that?” It’s just, it’s easier for me and it’s easy for me to remember.


I think that’s the thing. We talked about talking to people, and you only remember 5%, 10% of the whole discussion. Yes, you remember how you feel, being a feelings person, but I also don’t want to leave without the facts. And so, for me, I usually just go, “What was the point of it?” And so, that’s how I started. So I just started coaching myself, I guess, in terms of just summarizing. And then I guess, as I start doing business, people would share all these different ideas with me, especially when they come with, you know, different web solutions for clients, they share their big ideas, and I said, “Well, it sounds really complex. Is this what you’re looking for?” And they go, “Yeah, that’s it.”


And I guess it was those kind of breakthrough moments. And then sign a friend of mine would share about, you know, the issues they’re having in their relationship and, you know, “He keeps thinking that way,” and, “She keeps doing that.” And so I’m listening, listening, and I start summarizing for myself. It’s not for anyone else. It’s just for me, and I say, “Is this what you’re trying to say?” And they’re like, “That’s exactly it. Why doesn’t he get it?” I’m like, “It’s not his fault.” That’s, you know, we’ve had this long discussion and I like summarizing, you know, sort of thing.


And so I think it’s with this whole self thing and then summary element that just kind of made me get to that point, to the point where I’ve actually had people come up to me now saying, “Can you be my mentor because you’ve actually cleared up a whole heap of…like, you’ve cleared all this up for me. I could have spent like years, months, whatever, I could have paid someone to…like a proper business coach on a job,” but it’s not really business coaching. It’s just, I’m caught in a situation where I’m just stuck, can you just unclog it for me? And that’s it.


And so, yeah, so that’s where I came up with the term of clarity coach. So there are people, and I’m actually really well blessed to have people who now, in a paid and unpaid capacity, who come up and say, or depending on where they are in their life and stuff, is it business, it’s usually more paid, if it’s not, then it’s usually done out of grace and just helping that next generation. But they’ll say, “Do you mind if I just have a bit of a catch-up, help me unclog a bit? And the rest, I know what I’m doing. I just can’t get through this hurdle.” So, yeah.


Do I have a tip? Oh, mate. I think a tip is really just sitting down reflecting, going…Oh, yeah, actually, I do you have a tip. I call it the five words for my five-year-old. And so, this is something I do with my clients and also with the people I speak to. Take everything that you’ve told me and summarize it into five words. It could be a sentence, phrase, whatever. If you want to give or take a couple of words, you’re fine. But you got to tell it to my five-year-old.


So if you’re going to use big words on me, you’re going to use jargon, technical terms and stuff, my five-year-old, Zoe, is going to look at you and just go, “What?” If she says that, then you know you’re not clear. But if she can get it, and you can say in so few words, then I know that you’ve summarized it well. And again, yes, there’s pros and cons of summarizing things, you know, you lose the detail, you might not get the full essence and stuff. But again, if it’s just about general clarity, that’s how I actually go about doing it. So there’s a tip.


Tiffany: That’s a really good one. I think that’s difficult to do, especially if you’re stuck in an emotional position. It’s hard to kind of zoom out and say, “Okay, what am I really trying to get at here?” And that’s why it might be good to, you know, throw it on somebody else to kind of make sense of it.


Irwin: And you’re absolutely right. Which funny enough, is actually Chapter 1 of my book.


Tiffany: Oh, interesting.


Irwin: Because I realized and so, as I’ve come with these mental models on clarity, because this book is really about clarity, how to get the most out of you. So again, this book is not about your purpose and what you should do, who you should marry, what country you should, you know, travel to, and what age, and what you should study, don’t know, don’t care, you know, that’s not my place to tell you what to do. But I want to give you some steps.


So actually, Chapter 1, and I’ll give you a sneak peek. Chapter 1 is actually called “Find Your Fantastic Four.” I called it “Find Your Fantastic Four” not because I love Jessica Alba,

though she’s pretty cool, it’s because I believe there’s actually four groups of people that you need in your life to help you with that clarity. So before you even do anything in life, get these four groups of people into your life so that they can do exactly what you just said.


They can look outside for you and go, “Oh, let me give you five words.” For you, who’s the five-year-old now, to make it clear for you because you can’t unstick yourself.

You know, you’re lost in your own mess. You kind of need to have someone or have a moment where you can kind of step back. And as they’re kind of prodding you with kind of new ideas and stuff that can make you think of it more. As you add, they keep doing it and that’s where I end up being that Fantastic Four for other people and stuff. So that’s how it all ties together.


Tiffany: That’s interesting because that brings me back to the time that we first met. And I was telling you about how I was also working on a book, but it was about kind of discovering yourself through dating, not a new thing, like dating the wrong people kind of lets you kind of…


Irwin: Appreciate.


Tiffany: Well like, when you experience what is “wrong” and you know that it could be right because you see other people have it, all of a sudden opens up your range. And then you can kind of like experiment a lot. And what that really does is it makes you learn about who you are and what you want and what you need in a relationship. You brought something up and now I know that it has to do with your Chapter 1, but at the time, I didn’t know that it had to do with my Chapter 1.


And you said, “Don’t you have people around you who could tell you like that’s a bad relationship or that’s a good relationship?” And my response was, “No, I didn’t.” Because I didn’t have like a Fantastic Four. And so I guess what I want the audience to know is that you can have a Fantastic Four. There can be people in your life that you can depend on to tell you the right thing if you really like yourself and are thriving in a relationship or not. Because sometimes, if you’ve only experienced bad relationships then that’s all you know. And so like, if you don’t have a Fantastic Four, I’m just here to tell you that you can find one.


Irwin: And just be clear as well, Fantastic Four why I termed it, it’s not four people, but it’s actually four groups of people that you’re gonna have because a lot of people say, “Oh, you know, I’m just gonna choose my best mates. You know, my friends, my very close friends.” And so I was talking to a friend of mine who I’m just going to call some generic name.


Tiffany: John.


Irwin: No, it’s a girl. So Jane, how’s that?


Tiffany: Jane.


Irwin: Jane and John. Yeah, I was talking to Jane and she was talking to me about relationship issues that she was going through. And so I said to her, I was just curious, I didn’t ask her, “Do you have a Fantastic Four?” Do you have anyone to…you know, a sidekick or someone to talk with? I said, “Who?” Because I want to find out who was in her group. So I said, “Who are you talking to about these relationship issues and questions?” She said, “There are other girls around.”


What I worked out was they’re pretty much same age, same phase of life, you know, the same experiences, same circles, everything’s the same. I said, “Well, just putting it out there, you’re talking to, in this case, and there’s nothing wrong with it…it’s fantastic. Because again, there’s multiple opinions that you should learn from. But she’s talking to the people who are like her. I was talking to her at the same time, and I’m completely opposite. So I’m not a girl, I’m a guy. She’s single, I have been married 12 years this year, you know, sort of thing.


Tiffany: Happy anniversary.


Irwin: Thank you in advance. She’s, you know, in her mid-20s, I’m in my late 30s and stuff, and you can already see the difference, like just based on that difference, that my advice would be really different. And I’m saying, “Well, I’m not the be all end all, I’m just one little way and you know, who has just a thought.” Imagine you had, you know, someone else who’s completely different, who’s part of a different culture, you know, 20 years ahead of me, who’s, you know, had children, and they’ve left now and they’re watching their children do the same, like, and that brings a…it just helps to try and give you a better perspective. I think that’s the other word…


Tiffany: Perspective.


Irwin: …is perspective. So clarity, perspective, structure, all these words, I think is so important. But yeah.


Tiffany: Thank you. Okay, one of the things that is really interesting about you, and it’s something that I’m trying to incorporate into my own life and my own business, is that you have these…I don’t even want to call them hobbies because they’re very much a part of your life. But you’re able to cross-pollinate and to, like, bring magic into your business and bring feeling, because you’re a feeling guy, into your business. And I’m just wondering, like, how did you…you told me over when you were showing me your magic trick over on the computer screens over there in the front of the office that it didn’t start out that way.


Irwin: No.


Tiffany: And so, I’m just wondering how you make that transition and how you made that transition.


Irwin: Yeah, no, fantastic. I’m literally just pretty much gonna tell you my book as such because it’s through this process that I’ve actually found because, again, this is a sneak peek. So Chapter 1, “Find Your Fantastic Four.” So I’ve found people who told me really honestly about me, what I’m good at, what I’m bad at, and so forth. But the first step was find these people.


See, the second step is know yourself and understand others. That’s Chapter 2. Because if you know yourself, and you understand how other people work, and you’ve gotta be…then that’s a perfect place to be. Because what’s the point of going for a career or finding a perfect partner or whatever if you don’t even know yourself? And so that’s why I say have that Fantastic Four because they’re there now because that’s step one, to help you to work out who you are.


So I had a good sit down with myself. And I’ve asked my best mates. I’ve even asked people that aren’t my best mates, you know, just random strangers to say, “Hey, what do you think I’m good at? What stands out about me? What makes me tick? What brings me the most joy? What makes me just light up?” You know, you could talk about XYZ, but when you talk about a thing, I could just go on forever, you know, give me the mic, I’m going to take over. And so I listed out all those things. And as part of my book, it helps you step through that, but…


Tiffany: Did it take like an hour? Did it take like six months?


Irwin: So this is the thing. I only found myself, I’d say, in my early 30s. So a lot of people go, you know, in the same way, my dad goes, “Well, I’m driving a Merc. But don’t think I’ve been driving a Merc all my life. Irwin, I came to this country with nothing. Please know there’s hard work, hustle, heart in X number of years, and that’s why I can drive a Merc now.” In the same way, please don’t see me as wow, Irwin got all sorted. He knows what he loves. You know, he’s…okay, sure, I’m on a much clearer path. But again, that path might change. You know, things come along, but I’ve actually tried to work out for myself…and I guess the real discovery actually came in 2017 when I really had a good sit down with myself and said, “Really, what do you love?” And so, you can see in front of me, I know you can’t hear it, but you can see I’ve got a black book with me. This is book number nine. My first one was on 2017, 1st of January.


Tiffany: Wow.


Irwin: And I started writing everything, everything down. What I was thinking, what I was feeling. If it was a business meeting, I’d write in there, new idea, write in there, it’s a prayer, write it in there. Someone peed me off, there, brain dump, write it in, good idea, write it, just write everything. But then I’ll circle and I’ll highlight and also place at the start of the book like the front cover area things that really stood out about myself, what I really loved.


And as I was doing all that, I then created this kind of mental map of these are things that I love, these are things I love doing. And you realize you and I both have 24 hours, we have the same amount of time. What are you going to do with it? And so I realized, well, I wanna make sure that every day I’m leaving the best day that I can. So I had to write down, what would qualify as a best day? And so I wrote all that kind of stuff out. Circle, circle, and I guess now moving on to 2019, I have a much clearer picture. But I think about this stuff, all this I’m one of those strange people going to sit there…


Tiffany: I do too.


Irwin: …and go, “Oh, oh, oh…” I had a friend I was talking to this stuff about and they’re like, “Don’t know, don’t care. I’ll think about it.” You know, that sort of thing. And I’m like, “Well, that’s okay. If that’s them, that’s them.” But I love doing this and therefore, I feel even more passionate, I feel more driven with each day. I kind of can work out a little bit better, am I doing the right or wrong thing and stuff? And you keep going, you keep like a business plan. You don’t write it, and who-hoo, I’ve got a business plan. You’re guaranteed to change it, you’re guaranteed to tweak it, you’re guaranteed to refine it, that’s sort of thing. So, yeah.


Tiffany: That’s amazing. So I also have, like, probably hundreds of notebooks because I have one on me all the time. But what I don’t do is I don’t look at them.


Irwin: Well, that’s the thing, I don’t look either. Well, I know I won’t look at them. Because once you’ve written it, it’s kind of gone. And I don’t have like go to the search bar, press, you know, looking for topic A, oh, there are all my books in book 4717. Like, it doesn’t work that way. And that’s why I have to create a structure and a system so I have clarity in my book so that I can pick up any page and just go, “Yep, that’s what that meeting was about.”


And then you also want to summarize at the very beginning, like what things affect me, and have a special section for it. So sometimes I’ll use the back of the book, sometimes I’ll use the front of the book. Sometimes I’ll actually make, you know, a separate book, I might use my phone, that sort of thing, but you’re kind of like building on yourself. You’re just kind of refining, but if you don’t write it down and write it in the same place, you’ll lose it. And so, yeah.


Tiffany: Have you found that writing everything down has given you clarity? Like sometimes writing something down makes it get out of your mind so you can focus on other things.


Irwin: Yeah, absolutely. Writing things down, in general, is good, but let me tell you my trick. This is my little secret. I don’t just write what I think down. So say you said something fantastic. And you said, say you mentioned…you go, “Wow, I love clarity.” I go, “That’s a good one, clarity.” I don’t write just the word clarity, I follow up with. And to me, this is almost like a second book. And there might be someone who’s already done this out there, but it’s the power of the right question.


If you ask the right question, you get the right answer. You ask a dumb question, you get a stupid answer. And I find I ask myself a lot of dumb questions. And dumb questions just make me circle round and round and round in circles. So I think about yourself in like, you were talking about the whole dating thing. If you ask a dumb question in a date, and so, you’ll go down the silly rabbit hole. Ask the right one, you trigger the right one.


So come back to that clarity example. So rather than just writing the word clarity down, I would actually write something like, “How can I get more clarity in my business?” And I’ll leave it as that because it’s almost like I’m coaching myself. So when I want to read it again, I’ll go, “Oh, that’s a good question. I haven’t thought about it,” or I might do some that triggers another question. Or do I need clarity in my marriage? Do I need clarity in the way I XYZ? And so you just keep asking yourself questions. So when you look at the book, it’s not just, “Oh, great, that was…” because I’m just gonna go, “Yep. Tiff, clarity, tick, move on,” right? Questions make you think. So I want to be challenged every time I look at my book, not just go, “Oh, that’s a nice fact. Move on.” So use questions in your book to make you generate more, that’s my tip.


Tiffany: Oh, interesting. That’s like digging a little bit deeper. Taking it one step further.


Irwin: Yeah.


Tiffany: You write something down and then you’re like, well, what is that? Where can we go from there? What does that mean to me? Or why is that important? Or how do I…I mean, I think I have questions. I’m looking through my notebook right now. Like, did I write any? That’s awesome. Thank you for that. So I just want to circle back to are the questions that you ask yourself in your black book, is that when you realize, like, where you want to take your business and how to incorporate what you do best and what really makes your heart sing?


Irwin: Well, coming back to your original question, so once I actually realized what I love and what brings me joy` and what excites me, all that kind of stuff, I kind of took it all and I said, you know what? I couldn’t mix this all together. Who says it’s all mutually exclusive? So no one says, “Oh, at this time, you must do this.” And I guess being a business owner, it’s a little different, right? So I don’t encourage for those who are listening who say love magic tricks to suddenly start doing magic tricks, you know, as an employee, unless your boss doesn’t mind and likes a good trick, you know, once in a while. But I guess being owner and director and founder of this business, I thought, “Well, I can do a couple of things.”


Number one, I can combine my loves together just because I’m allowed to. But there’s a question, see, again, it comes down to a question, that one person once asked me, he said, “Irwin, what’s your unfair advantage?” What’s your unfair advantage in this business? It could be from a sales technique. It could be around, you know, the way you do your work, it could be the way you present, all that kind of stuff. And I realized that what I loved and what I did had a lot of common elements to it, you know. When it comes to our creative design, you know, web design, it’s highly emotional, it’s highly engaging, it’s not your typical, you know, buy a template, wack it up sort of thing. So there’s that.


But I realized, the magic tricks I was doing was also about attention, was also about engagement. It’s actually quite emotional depending on, you know, how you present it. I thought, wow, that’s great. And then I realized, oh, my love for helping people about, you know, getting clarity and stuff like that, there’s an element of engagement with the person. There’s an element of understanding. So I just decided, well, why don’t I just put it all together? And these are things I love anyway, light bulb moment, I was like, wow, this is it. And so, therefore, I just tried it.


And again, you know, depending on the reception, like some people are like, you know, “Why are you doing magic tricks? I’m here to buy a website,” or something that, you know, “here about innovation, what’s a magic trick got to do with all? Why are you telling me about my heart stuff? You know, so, as you put it out there, you refine, you get better. So then you read the moments and stuff. So for you, you seem like a fun person, hey, pull out a magic trick, right, and we talk about web design or whatever it is. But for someone else who might be a lawyer or someone like that, you know, and I remember this only because I had a client who was a lawyer, not the right place for it, right? So did go all-in on that one.


Tiffany: Send them over to Avrar.


Irwin: Yeah, send to…that’s Irwin, but it’s just choosing. And I think the most important thing is it’s about having fun. I mean, seriously, if you just kind of work for the sake of work…yes, we have to pay the bills, I get it. You know, we’ve all got mortgages and, you know, school fees to pay in the future and I’ve got to eat and all that kind of stuff, important. But you got to do what you love because if you do something that you’re passionate about, it then drives you.


And if you’re going to go, “Well, how do I find that thing I’m passionate?” I say, “Give everything a crack.” If you don’t like it, try it for a period time, give it a good crack, and if it doesn’t work, move on to the next thing and just keep trying, keep trying, keep trying, but you got to settle sometime. And some of those things, you might go, “Well, I’m pretty good at it. I don’t mind it.” Well, you can try to fall in love with it a little bit more. Why don’t you just go a bit deeper? I sound like a relationships coach now, but yeah.


Tiffany: But I think we have this…one of the similarities between us is the ability to see how unlike things connect. Like how two maybe completely opposite things, where they overlap, where their connection is. Because I have the same I can definitely relate so you like bringing relationships it’s like, yeah, there is a connection there with relationships, and business, and I don’t know, I just see the way that things overlap also. But how do you go from deciding to give something a try to actually implementing it throughout the company? Because you just went through a major transition, didn’t you?


Irwin: Yeah, for sure. I think that’s the thing. I mean, I can’t impose my loves and my desires on everyone. So it’s not like, “Staff, we’re going to learn this magic trick, too bad,” you know. This is what…you know, I’ve got to acknowledge it. And that’s why Chapter 2 of my book was to know yourself but to understand others as well. And so, as I understand them, I go well, as long as they’re happy to embrace and acknowledge and understand this is what I love, I might do it, embrace it into what I do. So if I work in the sales, then hey, I might use a magic trick in sales instead, you know, can actually see how you use magic trick in business to be honest, but yeah, I think it’s not imposing on others, but just as long as you can show them you acknowledge, that’s pretty much it.


Tiffany: I think the element of magic that you’re bringing in is, one, the emotional side but the presentation and the funness. Like magic is fun, and business can be fun. I think a lot of people don’t see where fun can overlap with work.


Irwin: And then, and so, for those who are listening who are going, “How in the world do you do magic tricks in business? Like how does that even work?” See, magic tricks are like notes that…oh, I guess…sorry. Forget that one for a second. I’m here to demonstrate a point in business, you know, I want to get to a certain point, I can actually do that with a trick. I’ve even walked into business meetings where I…or share nursery rhymes at the start. They go, “What’s that got to do with anything?” One, it makes it memorable. Number two, it breaks down complex things into really simple, you know, words.


And if something’s already simple, you can also make it beautiful. And there’s one thing I learned that information plus emotion equals long-term memory. My heart is to make information as memorable as possible. And therefore, the magic brings the emotion side to it. And again, with cards, and so I do more card illusions, I can write keywords on something, you have a bit of fun, you break the ice first. And then because we’re in the space of, you know, attention, engagement, experience, I just demonstrate those same kind of methodologies, frameworks through the card tricks I do. And so, yeah, nice and fun.


Tiffany: I also think that in magic, you have to know how to read people. And in business, you also have to know how to read people. If you’re in a room and you’re giving a pitch or giving a presentation and people aren’t like really latching onto it or emotionally connecting, because you kind of know magic and presentation, I feel like you would be able to know and kind of play off of the room and see them and watch them and be able to kind of like maybe explain in a different way if you notice that that’s a challenge.


Irwin: I think with the magic side, I’ve learned to be more self-aware, but also more aware of others and how they react, how they work. You’re kind of used to how people, you know, they dot their eyes around, their attention, you know. Do I have their full attention? Are they somewhere else? Do they kind of not care? Do they kind of want to go, “What’s the answer to the magic trick? Can you just get over it because I don’t want to see anymore?” You can tell and you can read in. It’s knowing how to choose the right people at the right time.


It is all a human psychology game. That’s all it is. And in magic, you manipulate that for entertainment purposes. But in the same breath in business, it’s important to know yourself to be able to read the other person. And again, if that’s not the right thing for the other person, you’re just kind of call it out and just go, “No, not the right fit, that’s cool,” that sort of thing. So yeah, good skills to have.


Tiffany: I agree. I agree, good skills. I’m really into…and I say this a lot on the podcast and everywhere else, but I’m really into transferable skills, things that because I see the commonalities in a lot of different things, I see, like, the transferable skills necessary to implement in each one of those, like, kind of like in a deconstructed way. That’s how my mind works. It just pulls things out.


Irwin: I call it buy once, use twice because I think it’s really important that…I think these skills that are transferable are actually more powerful because now you’re not a one-hit wonder. Like say, for example, if my skill was, say, sales or communication or whatever it is in this business, say I lost this business. Say I was to partner with you now to run a joint business or to move into something completely different. I’m not lost, I’m still able to, you know, perform and it’s quite universal communication skills, you know. Languages is another one, if you know language, that’s a fantastic transferable skill, but yeah, no, really good.


Tiffany: One thing that I thought was pretty interesting was you’re an emotions guy, but your models…


Irwin: I’ll just break down crying, emotional guy.


Tiffany: Not emotional, but you like the…


Irwin: [crosstalk 00:36:39] with them.


Tiffany: Yeah. But your models are mental. They’re on like the mental realm. So like, how does that work out?


Irwin: I get to feel my way to find the facts behind because the truth is, no one is really…I mean, you can go to someone, “Are you high IQ or high EQ?” But the key word is actually not IQ or EQ, it’s not even the word high. See, all that question demonstrates is that you are both, but one just plays a more dominant role than the other. So I use my strength to help my weakness. So I use the feeling side to kind of observe myself, to observe others, to work on these ideas, but then I use my IQ side because the truth is, if you’re high EQ, you have, you know, I’ll say a big heart for a bit. I’m just gonna make it to summarize it, you know, not to say that’s all it represents. But say you have a big heart doesn’t mean you don’t have a brain. It doesn’t mean if you’re a high IQ, you have a brain but you don’t have heart. It just says you sway more one way than the other. So I just use my strength, EQ, to build the IQ side, which is the mental model side. Yeah?


Tiffany: Awesome. So you’re writing a book to…well, initially, it was for your daughters, right?


Irwin: A legacy. That’s the word.


Tiffany: A legacy. And I kind of had…my book was actually for me if I…reincarnated.


Irwin: Sure.


Tiffany: So I was like, if I believe in reincarnation, then I’m going to need a book to help get me to this level of thinking and feeling faster than I did this time around. I just thought that was kind of funny. I don’t know if I would even find the book or if it would even be relevant to me at that point. But that was my, like, backstory behind writing a book because I learned so much that I just needed…I was like, why didn’t I learn this faster? Or like, why couldn’t I know this faster? And I feel like, yeah, you’re writing to leave a legacy, but I think one thing you mentioned at the beginning of this was like, you wish you knew these things when you were 18 or like younger or something.


Irwin: Half of me goes…yeah, if I could go back 20…Let’s grab an ’83 DeLorean, “Back To the Future” style, jumping right now and go back 20 years. As much as I wish I could tell myself these things, in some ways, I wouldn’t change the past either because I am the product of all the good and the bad that’s happened between now and then. And so, you know, do you live with any regrets? Yeah, there’s certain things here you go, “I wish I didn’t have.” But again, it’s with these struggles and with these down times, that’s what builds character. That’s what gives you those aha moments, you know, that makes you go, that’s what it is.


Because let’s be honest, right? If I told you…say, let’s wipe your brain clean, and let’s tell you everything you were told again. Half of you might go, “No, I don’t believe you, you’re lying, I wouldn’t believe that. And why would I do that?” You know, something, but it’s with that experience that we go through, good or bad, that helps to affirm, you know, what we know. And so, I’ve realized there’s no point telling myself, I’d rather help others who don’t have that clarity, and so that legacy. Because in some ways, my daughters are mini-mes. Well, half me, half my wife, sort of thing. But I don’t want them to go through the same struggle I have, which everyone goes through. So in life, you’re going to go through, going, “What am I doing? What’s my purpose?”


Tiffany: Oh, I have.


Irwin: “Where am I going? Why would I want to work in blah industry? Why should I…?” And you start questioning everything. It’s pretty scary if not sad, if not…you know. And again, my book is not a purpose book. If you want that book, go to the Bible, that’s the purpose side of things. Mine is just more steps to do…I guess, say for me, and I’ve taught my little girls, I want to give them two things that can’t be taken away from them, that I believe can be taken away from them. Because I played this game with my daughter.


So Natasha is my older one I said, “Tashi, name two things that I can’t from you.” She goes, “Oh, you can’t take my pen.” All right, yoink, got your pen, you know. “You can’t take my hair.” I said, “Well, was it real weird? You know, I could cut your hair off,” you know, something. “You can’t take my heart.” And so she was going through all these and trying to find, but she was talking more tangible things. And I was saying, you know, in some weird way, you could actually take all those things.


But I said to her, “There’s two things I realize. Number one, you can’t take the love of God away from you and that knowledge of who God is. So that’s the first one. But the second is no one can take knowledge away from you either. Yeah, I can take your brain but I can’t take the knowledge. So every time you learn something, you’re getting stronger, you’re getting better.” And so, there are my two things because the thing that we pass down…and why legacy? The thing we pass down to our children is usually the finance side. I die, here’s my will, have all my stuff, right? But imagine if my kid didn’t have their head screwed on, they were somehow drunk or they went to a casino, put everything on red and it was black. They’ve just lost everything I’ve given him. So what did I live for? It was just stuff.


And don’t get me wrong, I think all adults, all parents, good or bad, give wisdom to their children. But imagine right now, Tiff, I said to you, tell me five things you’ve learned in life from someone who’s older, maybe a parent, uncle, auntie, whatever, five things that you just go, “Wow, that is amazing.” Hit me now, right now, five things. You’re gonna have a couple reactions. Number one, “They didn’t give me anything.” A bit rarer, but might be. The second one is, “Oh, Irwin, I’ve got five things for you, and I’ll give you five more.” That’s a rare case to discerning it.


But the usual answer I get is, “I’ll get back to you. They’ve told me some amazing tidbits, but I’ll get back to you. Let me think about it.” I just wanna make sure that for my kids that they’re not wondering if I ever told them or taught them something. Hence, I want to create this model for them so they know exactly what to do after…they can read the Bible, they can stop and pray, but after that, what do you do? And so then to see, you know, get help and find out and grow and all that kind of stuff. So, yeah, so legacy is that little segment.


Tiffany: That’s interesting because I feel like my parents…I feel like at some point, at one point in my life, my parents…I may have had the view that my parents didn’t give me anything. But like, now I see things a lot different and I see things that my parents have given me, but not just my parents, I see things that my family line, my lineage, has given me.


Irwin: Absolutely.


Tiffany: And one of those is hard work. Like I come from a family of hard workers. But it took a certain amount of growth, or maturity, or time, or reflection to actually see what I was given not because they handed it to me, but because that’s what I was born into. Almost like it’s part of my blood. And so that’s really interesting. That’s interesting to me.


Irwin: Yeah, that’s good.


Tiffany: Because I think if I were to ask my parents, what have you given me, which I wouldn’t…


Irwin: What have you given me?


Tiffany: My parents are materialistic. I was on the train the other day and I told my mom, “Mom, there’s weird vibes on this train.” And she goes, “Watch your wallet.” Like, that was the first thing that came…I was like, “Wow, that was so interesting to observe.” And so I think if I were to ask my parents, “What have you given me?” they would all be materialistic things. We gave you a house to grow up in, a nice neighborhood so you didn’t have to like join a gang, like protection and stuff like that. But what I look at it now, reflecting on what I’ve been given, the things that I see are like hard work and resilience. And I would say like, and no complaining, we’re not really complainers. But that’s just my eyes looking back.


Irwin: I think it’s a combination. There’s the tangible and the intangible. And we end up giving both, so don’t get me wrong. I’m not gonna say, “Hi daughters. I’m on my deathbed. Here’s my book. Sorry, my will is gonna come with me.”


Tiffany: Don’t say I never gave you anything.


Irwin: Don’t say I never gave you anything and I’m gonna take my money with me. I can’t. I’m going to give them everything I’ve got anyway, but I want to give them what can be taken and what can’t be taken. I want to give them both. But I find we focus sometimes a lot on the tangible. Let me give you my stuff. What does stuff mean? Stuff doesn’t last. Okay, so great, you have this watch that you hand over 14 generations down, and great, but it will still deteriorate.


But if you give knowledge, you can change not just your generation, but other generations. I think that’s where I see the power. See, this book…so one of the questions I had to ask myself, so they were all about questions, I love good questions, is what is the definition of success in the book I’m writing? What’s the definition of success? Because if you don’t define success…see, if you want to be…if success is I’m going to be JK Rowling, so X number of billion, you know, copies and make, you know, billions of dollars and stuff, well done. So those who are in that category, fantastic.


But for me, it was this, I’m going to drop a good X number of thousands of dollars, more than thousands, it’s a good five-digit number on this book. But my definition of success is that I’ve completed it and I get to print a minimum of two books, which I then hand to my daughters and say, “That’s from Daddy.” That’s it. But then when you actually sell it and be the best seller and do a speaking tour and make money on Amazon, or whatever it is, you know, selling and stuff, I’m like, yeah, but that’s not success. That’s the bonus. And I think that’s important as well to define success in what you’re doing, so.


Tiffany: Okay, two questions came from that. One is how do you ask better questions?


Irwin: I think it’s better practice, like everything, it’s about practice. You kind of ask yourself, was that a good question? Did people get that? Or was there’s something deeper? We always look at the surface stuff. Always go for the root cause. Go for prevention rather than cure. It’s the same thing. You want to ask this question, was that right? And you kind of watch the other person, again, this is my magic side coming out, I’m observing you. Was that a good question or was there something deeper?


It’s a very psychologist kind of thing to do. You know, when someone says something to you all, “Oh, could you unpack that for me? Can you go a bit deeper, please? You know, what do you mean by blah?” You know, and then you kind of get used to finding out because the root cause questions all kind of have the same kind of flavor. I wish I could articulate it and doesn’t help because I’m a clarity coach, I can’t clarify that part. But I think it’s just out of practice that you realize that there’s certain questions that come in, and again, it’s circumstantial as well. I find at times that you just kind of realize what they are, and yeah.


Tiffany: Okay, one other one came out of that, but it kind of just like floated away.


Irwin: I can see it on your face. Like, what?


Tiffany: Shoot, it happened again. It was about, oh, success. How do you get to a point where…okay. I would say a lot of other people’s idea of success is very different than yours with a book.


Irwin: Hundred percent.


Tiffany: I agree with you even though part of me wants to be like, let’s sell, let’s make money, let’s get those badges, you know, like, let’s get number one in this category because like, that’s how I’m trained, right? Because that’s how Amazon trained me by being an Amazon seller. But like, how do you get to a place where you’re comfortable saying, “My idea of success is…” and maybe comfort isn’t the right word, maybe it’s a different word. But, “My idea of success is completing the book and printing two copies.”


Irwin: Yeah. I think it comes down to the word contentment, which is actually Chapter 9. I told you I’m just gonna tell you, really. See, this whole book, just as a quick breakdown without going through the whole book because it’s not a book talk, the first three chapters of my book is all about building a fantastic foundation for life. And you only know two of the three. You can just do those three chapters and then you just use that as a general structure and I think you’ll do amazingly well in life. Not because I came with the structure, but because I know you’d actually be able to practically use them, and indirectly or directly you do already, you’re just more aware of it now.


The next five chapters is about growth. If you really want to know, I want to a scale this darn thing, I want to jack it up, that’s what the next five chapters are about. Three plus five, but there’s one last one because there’s nine in total. And that last one, I’ll tell you, is really the summary of it all, which is be content with what you have and use it to help others because a life just about yourself is a pretty darn selfish life and it’s a sad one. Because you’re a relational being, you’re here with other people in the world who might be more privileged, might be less privileged. You have something that no one else has. You have something that’s actually amazing and beautiful, share it, help someone else, that sort of thing.


And I think contentment comes with just going, “Yeah, I’m…” not contentment as in, you know, I’m going to take the worst, or no actually, you can be content with amazing things, but you need to have a limit for yourself because if you can’t find contentment, you will keep chasing, and if you keep chasing with no limit, you will kind of die doing that, just feeling unsatisfied, feeling thirsty, you’re tired of going ah, so empty. What I’m trying to say is, don’t get me wrong, I am selling the book. Okay? But I know as a minimum just…and again, just to go, “Yep, this is why I’m doing what I’m doing.” It’s that why question, you know, why am I doing? Because I’m doing for my girls. It gives me purpose in why I’m writing the book.


But as a secondary, I’ll add a secondary purpose and the secondary purpose is I want to bless others as well because maybe not everyone has a father who would want to leave them a legacy of clarity in their life. Maybe some people know it, but don’t…do you know what I mean? So still push for that kind of stuff, still sell it. I’ll still go, “Hey, do you have any tips on how to sell on Amazon?” All that kind of stuff. But I know I’ve already hit my goal. It’s a bonus. And the same way when I married my wife, having kids was not the goal of marriage. To live an amazing life with my wife who was my first girlfriend, that’s the goal. Children are a bonus to that. Children don’t complete us. We are complete the moment we met each other and we got married. The rest is a bonus, same kind of with the book.


And I think if you have that mindset, because what if I never had children and couldn’t? Does that mean I’m unsuccessful in my marriage? If I never sold a copy of the book, do I just sit there going, “I didn’t sell anything?” So that’s all I’ve actually done. I’ve actually, just gone, am I content? And where’s your content level? Again, content doesn’t mean settling for second best. I need to be clear, it’s not that, oh, I’m just going to go for the lower tier. No, it’s just, this meets all my needs and I’m happy and I’m not in need. I know who I am. I’m proud of myself. But I’m not going to stop there. Of course, I want to be the better version of myself. I want to strive, I want to keep going because I want to keep growing, that sort of thing.


Tiffany: Wow. Well, how did you get to place of contentment with yourself? Because…


Irwin: You need to know who you are and why you do what you do. And I guess, I’ll be honest, for me, it actually started I guess from…see, it all comes down to this. I don’t know what I was made for. I don’t know the purpose of my life. How am I meant to know what I was made for? I didn’t make me, so I don’t know what to do. So I need a menu of sorts and stuff. I guess that’s where, for me, my early stages of knowing about God, about Christ and stuff.


Tiffany: And when did that come about?


Irwin: Well, I’ve been brought up in a Christian family, but this is what I always believe. Whatever faith you have, you can’t live someone else’s faith. Don’t leave your parent’s faith, don’t live your friend’s faith. You got to find out for yourself. So the further I say, “I’m a Christian,” if you want to find out about it, ask me. I’m not going to push something onto you that you don’t understand or that you don’t want to, and that’s fine. That’s your life. It’s your choice, and that’s cool.


I think for me, I found out that I don’t know what I was made for, so I’ll ask the maker. So if I told you holding this phone here, if you’ve never seen an Apple iPhone before…this one I’m holding, by the way, if you can’t see it…you can try to work it out. But if you don’t know what a phone is…imagine you have no idea what a phone is, right? You have no idea what a data plan is, you don’t know what a SIM card is, you don’t know what apps are. You can try to work it out, but there’s two ways you can find out. You can ask the person who invented it, Steve Jobs, or you can read the manual that came with it. Though I don’t know if Apple now comes with a manual because everyone knows how it works and stuff. So there are only two ways.


So for me in my life, I said, “Well, why don’t I just asked God himself? God, if you’re real, you tell me. You tell me what I’m made for, you direct me in that direction and I’ll find it.” But let me keep my eyes open and stuff. If he says nothing, hey, I’ll wait for it. But the second is, what about the manual? We keep hearing this, what about the Bible? What’s the Bible for? The Bible is actually that manual that kind of gives you a bit of guidance, and what’s the Bible? It does one thing, it just points to one person, which is just Jesus, what Jesus is all about. That’s really the crux of it.


And I think it was, for me, to find all that to know myself, know my…And so without using too many Christian-y jargon words, it’s I want to know who I am in Christ because I’m not dictated by…my contentment doesn’t come by the things that I have. You can take all I have, take my company, take my money, take my wealth, take my status, take my family, and I love my family to bits…don’t take them, right? But you can’t take the love of God away from me. I know who I am in him and that can be shaken because I can’t be shaken in that. That I’m cool with everything else, everything else is a bonus. Do you know what I mean? That, to me, is the deepest level of me.


And that’s why I think all of us, if you’re going to analyze yourself, and as I did, and as I mentioned in my book where I write things at the front, it was actually a Bible verse talking about Jesus when he was 12 and it talked about him, you know, building in wisdom and stature, finding favor with God and man. And I kind of drew four things out of it. I realized it talked about his…how I interpret it is his physical self. What was it, statue of…wisdom is mental, statue is physical, finding favor with God, which is spiritual, and finding favor with men, which is social. So those four key areas, I just said, “Okay, how do you fair in these four things?” I just model of Jesus because I known no one else model I know of. Well, that seems very fair mental, physical, spiritual, social. How do I fair in these four things?


So I’ll ask you, if you had to rate yourself out of 10 on each one, how well you are compared to you, be the best reflection of yourself, not be Irwin, definitely don’t be Irwin. So I rated myself. I realized, oh, I’m good at that, oh, not so good at that, oh, I’m good at, oh, not so good at that. I realized I was really bad at spiritual and physical. So I said I’m gonna try to delve into God’s word more, understand who he is, and learn about that. So that’s one thing I’m trying. And if you love hip hop, there’s a thing I’m listening to called Street Lights. It actually reads the Bible to you in hip hop.


Tiffany: I love hip hop.


Irwin: It’s pretty cool.


Tiffany: Street Lights.


Irwin: Street Lights. It’s an app.


Tiffany: It’s an app?


Irwin: It’s free as well. Yep, it’s free.


Tiffany: I’m going to do it.


Irwin: Do it. It is so cool. And it just goes through the “New Testament.” I didn’t know the Bible could be so cool, but Street Lights in terms of the way it’s presented in reading form. So that’s all read out to you.


Tiffany: That’s amazing.


Irwin: The second one I worked at was I was really bad at physical. And so I did something about it. I said, “Well, if I’m bad at it, you have the power to do, you have choice.” So I said, “Well, let’s go to the gym.” So I actually found a personal trainer. October, I’ve been seeing him since. Ask Avrar, I’ve been forcing him to come to the gym with me. But I go to the gym three times a week. I see my personal once a week, and also now mentor my personal trainer, which is amazing. It’s been wonderful. And do I see a physical change in myself? Yes, the confidence, the energy, all that kind of stuff.


But again, a full life I’ve just modeled off these four things which I took out of the book of Luke and watching Jesus. So that’s pretty much the core of me. But again, I always want to be able to help those who say, “You know what, Christianity is not for me,” or, “I’m still learning, I’m still discovering.” I said, “In your own time. But can I give you these other mental models that I’ve learned that then supplement this?” You know, I’ll never take over the bar, like no one ever could. But I just want to give people steps to help them once they’ve worked out their stuff. So yeah, to contentment and helping others. So yeah.


Tiffany: That’s really cool. Thank you so much for the suggestions, Street Lights.


Irwin: All, right, it’s kind of cool.


Tiffany: I’m super excited. One, I love hip hop, but also sometimes I turn to the Bible for certain things, and mostly it’s about like to dive a little deeper into like meanings of things. And also, just as a general way to live, I think there’s a lot of great advice on how to live, really.


Irwin: There’s actually two things I realized. One, it is almost a life training manual. It’s pretty much a life training manual, that’s the first one, right? The second is we love to model things. If you don’t believe me, there’s reasons why we look up to celebrities, or we have heroes, and we will admire our so-called uncles and aunties, a friend, a parent or whatever it is. We love modeling. Why? Because when we model, so we can actually see it’s almost like a reflection like I want to be like that person, but there’s no ultimate person in this world because everyone’s flawed, that’s the problem.


See, in my head on I’m like, ah, if I was a girl I might want to model, I don’t know, Beyonce, she sounds pretty cool. I don’t know guys who model, Will Smith is pretty cool. I kind of like him, that’s great, right? And I think he’s a great guy, actually. I’d love to meet him one day. But imagine I could model someone who just lived flawlessly, and that’s where Jesus comes back. And that’s what if you’re ever to read the Bible, just read the “New Testament” and just follow Jesus. Just go, “What would he do?” Watch the question actually tie it all together.


Watch the questions that he asked. He always used analogies, I love analogies. See, people would try to flaw him, the Pharisees in the Bible, they try to flaw him. So they’ll ask a question. But notice he never answered the question because it’s the wrong question. It’s a silly question. So what he would say is, indirectly he would go, that’s not the question. The question is this. And if this is the real question, which is the right question, then this is the answer. And it always talked about it in the “New Testament,” and have a reader as I’m listening to Matthew at the moment, it goes, “And the people were in awe of the wisdom that came out of his mouth and how he answered.”


And I think it’s not just what he said, but it’s also the reframing of the right question that actually gave it more depth. Because what’s the point of answering a dumb question? You’re here to seek wisdom. A question is asked so that you can seek deeper wisdom. If you’re just asking a question to flaw someone or just have a go at someone’s self, fine, the only one who feels good about it is yourself. But go deeper. Go harder, that sort of thing.


Tiffany: Yeah. Wow, that’s great. I think the people who ask questions to make other people look bad don’t really even feel great deep down inside.


Irwin: No, they’re just insecure. And so, if you’re just here to slander other people then what a silly life, you know, what a small life.


Tiffany: Yeah. Well, I want to be cognizant of your time and we’re coming up…actually, we’re a little bit past the hour.


Irwin: Thanks for having me.


Tiffany: So I’m just going to wrap up. This was amazing. Thank you so much. You are a wealth of knowledge.


Irwin: Appreciate it.


Tiffany: And I mean, you’re just like a natural presenter also. Like, maybe because you’re writing a book but like you have everything. Like I feel like you’ve just thought everything out.


Irwin: I appreciate that.


Tiffany: And I really respect your mentality around change and acceptance and contribution, and also like contentment. So thank you so much for sharing.


Irwin: My pleasure. And I think you wrapped it up with all C words just then so…I like alliterations, so well done. But thanks for having me.


Tiffany: Yeah, of course. Is there anything you’d like to…any last words for the audience? Anything you would like to say as a sign-off or anything? I’ll include your details in the show notes.


Irwin: Yeah, please do, please do. I think at the end of the day, I think I just encourage people just to find…coming back to the very beginning, we’re talking about that Fantastic Four, different groups of people. I think there’s a lot of people out there who are just really lonely, not sure what to do, who to seek, who to talk to, and stuff. So I really encourage…and without going through the main kind of key people, so I just want to just name a couple of suggestions and if you’re listening and you go, “You know, I’ve never thought about that,” maybe reach out to these people.


So maybe ask, you know, your best friend or your parents, your uncle, a favorite cousin or something like that, there’s that family kind of side. If you can’t find anyone in your life, I always say, let’s start with people you know, let’s start in outwards, right? So you’ve got your direct family and then you got your friends, your best mate and so forth, it could you be your best friend’s parent sort of thing.


You might even want to ask someone that you trust to find someone else that’s completely outside your circle because I think it’s really good to have an outside opinion, someone who doesn’t know you, doesn’t know your family history, doesn’t know…you know, good or bad, they won’t judge you, that sort of thing. I don’t think it’s bad to also find help in a paid way. What I mean by that is if you need to speak to a counselor, if you need to, you know, get a business mentor, if you need to find…I think it’s a great thing, you know, to have someone walk beside you.


There are people in my life that I have who are just friends, who are mentors, and there are people who I pay to guide me as well because, you know, I’m paying for their knowledge and stuff. And if it’s business-related, I think it’s very fair, you know, it has to be a win-win. But I really encourage you to find someone to talk to. It could be a community group. It could be a church, it could be a life group, but find someone to talk to and start those discussions so you can start learning about yourself and understanding others and so you can just kick ass in life. So that’s it.


Tiffany: Yeah. Awesome. Thanks, Irwin. It’s really good to have you on the show.


Irwin: Thanks a lot.


Tiffany: Also, I just noticed that I’m sitting in an office, like, full of trophies and awards. What are those?


Irwin: Yeah, no, so we start pushing for awards just to demonstrate…just we wanted to see where we fit in the industry in, in terms of just the quality of work that we did. So, yeah, a lot of it has to do with win a web design, web development. Yeah, all the fun bits. Yeah.


Tiffany: Awesome. All right, see you, guys.


Irwin: Thanks a lot. Cheers.

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