Handling the Fear of Rejection While Making New Friends

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Sometimes it’s intimidating to connect with women, right? It’s like you don’t know what to say, where to connect or how. You’re unsure if your efforts will be laughed at or you’ll be talked about behind your back later. For a GUYS GIRL (which is what I am) it’s easier to connect with men. They’re easy to talk to, less judgemental, they appreciate your beauty rather than are put off by it and they are so playful. Men automatically like you, how could they not?? So yes, there you have it. I’m terrified of rejection.

While all that is true about women, something else might also be true. Hear me out. Have you tried befriending women lately? There are other women who have girlfriends. Don’t you think you can have that kind of friendship too? Is your view of women outdated? Could there be a little scar tissue there? Those girls who were mean and jealous 20+ years ago are women now and most of them have grown out of their younger habits. You’re not a girl anymore are you? Neither are they. HOWEVER, the good news is that the same rules apply to making girlfriends as they did back then. And the amazing part is your girlfriend making qualities are inherent in you! Over the past 5 years I’ve made a real effort to befriend more women. And this post is to show you how to do it!

Lead with a compliment

One of the easiest ways to approach a woman is to approach her with a compliment. Compliments are the LANGUAGE of women and every woman speaks it. There are billions of compliments you can sincerely make. Here’s a list of things that can compliment on to help you out.

Compliment her

  • haircut
  • nail polish
  • arm muscles
  • make up skillz
  • outfit or piece of jewelry
  • compliment the way she handled a situation
  • tell her how inspiring and brave she was
  • tell her how captivating she is!

Use the information to develop the conversation further

Women like to talk talk talk talk. I only discovered this because when people try to talk to me and give them one word answers they’re astonished. After reading astonishment on the face many times I observed how other women behave. One thing can just set them off on a talk spree. This is one thing I absolutely LOVE about women. Let’s go back to the one word answers real quick. I’m right brain dominant meaning, I’m opposite of verbose. Left brainers usually are long winded. So if a woman only gives you one word responses (like me) it could mean they are rejecting you but it most likely means you gotta keep searching for a topic they’ll spill their guts on. Ok where were we? WHATEVER it was you said to her, she’ll most likely (because she’s a woman) tell you everything about it such as, where it came from, where she bought it, how much it costs, how many of her friends have borrowed it, why her mom hates it and I’m over exaggerating a little bit over here but you get the point right? So listen when she talks and then ask her more questions.

You’re going to have to share at some point

She’s going to expect you to share at some point. Although most women CAN have a single way conversation, you’re most likely talking with someone who enjoys reciprocity.Plus it’s good practice if you’re not used to it so just do it. Even if a woman gives information easily, she might feel vulnerable doing it. Reciprocity means you contribute something to the conversation. Ideally, it’s relatable to the experience she just shared with you.

Conversation Rolling

So just keep the share exchange going. Extra points if you can be your beautiful self. People are attracted to and inspired by authenticity. At this point you should be in rolling conversation. And all is going well.

Getting Contact Information and Parting Ways

Exchanging social media contact information is commonplace. Friend request on facebook, slide into her dm’s on IG or whatever method you prefer to keep in contact with people. I tend to go for telephone numbers because I’m never on social media. You can say something like, “Hey this was fun, I’d really like to hang out again. Can I get your (fill in the blank) facebook, IG, telephone number?” If that feels strange to you, you can try, “Hey I have a wine and book club (or whatever you have) would love to have you come to the next one. Would you be interested?” Then exchange information.

The follow up and follow through

Follow up and follow through. You can do that by saying, “Hey it was awesome meeting you last night. Here’s my book club (or wine club, or birthday information). Looking forward to seeing you!” And if you really want to become friends with this person there’s like a friendship courting stage. That’s when you invite them out all the time, you introduce them to your friend group and you send them interesting or funny information.